I think I’m reaching the point in my Aliyah journey where the newness of life here has worn off. Now everyone told me this would happen…right around this time frame actually…but I still wasn’t quite ready. The newness of it makes everything feel exciting, even the most simple things. Without that constant excitement, some of the real feelings start to set in…like recognizing I’m completely alone in a foreign country.
I think it’s expected to feel lonely at times in a new place, but I don’t think I’ve really even felt a tinge of the emotion until now. A combination of just having been home with my family and seeing what I’ve left behind, having a relationship that was an extremely important part of my life end, and having the shiny newness fade away has made this a decidedly difficult week for me here in the Holy Land.
I count myself lucky as I’ve been here for about 6.5 months and this has been my first difficult week since arrival. And it’s important to have difficult weeks, so that I can more appreciate the great ones.
So this week…I let myself have a bad week. I let myself be upset, I let myself stay in bed just a little too long, I let myself send 30 minute voice messages to my best friend at home letting it all out. And then, as of this morning…I officially decided the bad week is over.
It is counterproductive to wallow in what’s wrong when so so SO much is going right. I am beyond lucky to be here…this is a literal dream come true where everything fell into place for me every step of the way. I truly believe that I am meant to be here, G-d is watching out for me and has plans that I don’t even know about yet…so all of this is happening for a reason and will work out for me in the end…that I am sure of. And with that sureness I will move forward. And who needs the excitement of newness, when you can simply make your own excitement!?
So this morning, I woke up at 5:30am and went for a run at sunrise. I ran beside the sea for over an hour. From about 5:30-6:15 I didnt see another living soul. I have never felt more relaxed, free and truly at peace. I let the Mediterranean wipe away my bad week (literally and figuratively because the waves were HUGE!) and it was the official end of my only bad week in Israel. By the time 6:15 rolled around and I started to see other runners, I smiled at everyone in my path, feeling totally renewed.
So here’s to conquering all, making your own excitement, knowing a positive attitude can make all the difference and never letting a bad week be any more than just that, a week.
I’m ready for you Israel!!! (And seeing the sunrise on the beach was #62 on my list, so feeling great and crossing off list items all at once!)