If you’ve read my very first blog post on why I decided to move to Israel, you’ll know it was an unexplainable feeling deep in my soul that I knew I couldn’t ignore. I literally just knew. And there was no turning back. Now as wonderful as it is to have that feeling in life, that so sure, life changing feeling, it’s also full of pressure. That feeling led me to believe that I was meant to be in Israel…namely because I felt that either I was supposed to accomplish something extraordinary here or that something extraordinary was supposed to happen to me.
I felt like I was meant to move to Israel for a reason…and I’ve been spending the past seven months trying to figure out what the reason is. I haven’t found it yet, and it’s left me feeling a bit lost at times. I know seven months isn’t a lot of time to expect miracles but I can’t help but wonder if I missed something along the way these past few months. Why am I here? Why did I leave all my family and friends behind to be alone halfway across the world? (I’m convinced it’s for something more than perfect weather, nice beaches and good vibes…although those are all great too).
It’s also led me to put a lot of pressure on the people and situations around me. Is this relationship the reason I was supposed to be here? Is it this job? What if I make the wrong choice and miss the opportunity that G-d intended for me here? These things are always in the back of my mind as I live my new life here in Israel. Just nagging a little bit.
Now rewind to Thursday night. I had a dinner planned with one of my closest friends, Suzanne. We met at 7:30 at Bana (PS: shoutout to Bana in Tel Aviv for having the best vegan food ever). I expected to catch up, hear about Suzanne’s new job, and be in bed by 10. I ended up not leaving Suzanne until about 2am. And those hours were the most freeing, life changing moments of clarity I’ve had in a long time. It was a soul feeling, just like when I first got to Israel.
Sometimes people walk in and out of our lives quickly, changing it little bits. And other times, they stay and make all the difference in the world. Suzanne is the latter. Without me even saying anything, she just had all the answers that night. We walked on the beach, talking and laughing for hours. She even turned on some music and danced with me (luckily it was 1am and no one was around to see our embarrassing moves). She helped to free me of all the pressure I was putting on myself and my life here in Israel. She helped to lift a weight I barely even knew was there.
I can’t help but think I was meant to find Suzanne here in Israel. Perhaps the extraordinary things I have been looking for are right here in front of me, in the form of a best friend.
I hope all the readers of this blog have their own Suzanne. Someone who profoundly impacts your life for the better. Someone who is always there for the low points and the incredibly happy ones. Someone who never gives up on you. Someone who understands you. (And someone totally not embarrassed to dance with you.)
So here’s to being free. Taking away all the small pressures we invent in our heads. Dancing on the beach at 1am. And making our souls truly happy.
Stay tuned for Purim adventures this weekend!